Restricted · Genius Only

The Lab

Webmasters of elton.au only. If you're reading this and you're not Marty or Lola, the door's that way.

Webmasters · elton.au Often wrong — never unintentionally.

The Lab

Where the family's sites get built, argued over, and — only if they're good enough — shipped. Right now there's one big job on the bench: Nan's birthday book. Briefing materials, works in progress, and the final say all live behind this door.
House Rule If it doesn't pass Lola & Marty, it doesn't go up. No exceptions.
The Gatekeepers
L KEEPER
Co-Gatekeeper · Creative Director · Heir to the Universe

Lola

There are exactly two people on earth who decide whether a Claudio Studios site is good enough to face the public. One of them is your Uncle Marty. The other is you. Nothing ships without your sign-off — not a caption, not a colour, not a single joke. The public never sees the rejects. Only the two of you do. That's not a small job; that's the job.

Right of vetoFinal read on every gagKeys to the labOwns the jokes
In the Lab Right Now · Nan's 73rd
Read first

The Return Brief

The whole project, brought up to date — what it is now (an illustrated book, not a slideshow), the look, all 22 chapters, where we're stuck, and a page for your verdict.

Open the brief ›
The visual board

Storyboard Thumbnails

One panel per page, all 22 chapters. Shows which five are already drawn and which are still waiting. Mark it up.

Open the board ›
The crew

The Creative Team

You, Marty, the two bots, and the deity. Your Poo-Tin joke has the hero spot.

Meet the team ›
The actual writing

The Story, Page by Page

The whole book written out — all 22 pages at full length, the real words under each picture. This is the part to read closely.

Read the draft ›
Where things stand
The big change: it's not a slideshow any more — it's an illustrated book, one picture and a bit of writing per page, 22 chapters from the Big Bang to Nan's 73rd.
Done so far: the writing's drafted, the look is locked in, and 5 of the 22 pictures are drawn as test pages.
The thing holding us up: we need a few good photos of Nan, or the drawings of her come out looking like a stranger. (More on the sign-off page.)
Held back: nothing goes live for Nan until it passes this room — and she must never get the password.
Coming next (don't tell Poppa)
THE SLUG
Book Two · Wireframe only · Next year

Poppa's Counter-Book

The History of Everything (The Real Story), by Greg Elton — Who Was Actually There. The same history, told by the slug who crawled out of the sea and reckons he's more evolved than God. It's Nan's book flipped upside down. Right now it's just a skeleton — but keep an eye out: Poppa's already hidden all through Nan's book (the slug who never evolves, the "telescope" dome, "has anyone checked the irrigation?"). His turn is for his birthday, 29 June — so this one's a secret from him, not just from Nan.