A Mary Elton Production

The Creative Team

The mortals, the bots, and the deity behind The History of Everything. Roles are binding. Pay is in turkish delight.
Marty
Showrunner & Chief Mythologist
Marty
Dreamed up the whole indifferent-goddess caper. Grandson of A-Grade Mary. Born 24/12 — same week as B-Grade Mary's effort, but a cut above: a Landscaper. Broader trade than carpentry. Demonstrably superior to Jesus.
Lola
Creative Director · Heir to the Universe
Lola
The reason Mary ever powered down (2 July 2011). Signs off every page, owns the jokes, and inherited the lot. Staff comedian — see below.
Scribe & Build-Bot
Claude
Hauls the stones, writes the captions, draws the avocado. No relation to Claudio. (That is exactly what Claudio said too.)
Script Editor & Fact-Checker
EB-Ola
"The niece." Verifies every Dylan lyric, polices the chronology, and red-pens the weak gags. Sounds like a disease; behaves like one to bad punchlines.
Staff Comedian · Original Material by Lola
Why don't you have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet in the Kremlin?
They have a Poo-Tin.
Mascot, under duress
Claudio
Contractually present in every era. Hates it. Reskins to club colours on request.
Executive Producer · The Almighty
Mary "Nan" Elton
The subject. Did not return calls — eating turkish delight. Approves nothing, vetoes everything, turns 73.